When I think about nurturing relationships, think about what I have learned in nurturing my personal relationships. Years ago my husband and I read The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz. These “four agreements” are something I reference often in my personal and professional relationships. What I like most about The Four Agreements is their simplicity and frankness. No beating around the bush here, and trust me, they will stick with you. I’ve been thinking about them for the last six years!

The Four Agreements:

Agreement #1 – Be impeccable with your word.

When building a relationship on trust, you have to be impeccable with your word by speaking with integrity and only speaking what you truly mean.

Agreement #2 – Don’t take anything personally.

Oh, this is a tough one, but folks, it’s not all about me or you. In fact, Ruiz points out in his book that nothing other folks do is about us…it’s about them. And the same goes for our actions. They are about us, not about the other person in the relationship.

Agreement #3 – Don’t make assumptions.

The fastest way to get into trouble in a relationship is to “assume” anything. Nine times out of ten, we’re wrong. Ask questions, find out what’s really going on. Communication is key!

Agreement #4 – Always do your best.

By always doing our best, we don’t allow room for self-judgment, self-abuse and regret. Our best may vary day-to-day, but if we are always doing our best, we can be proud of what we’ve offered to our relationships.

What “agreements” work best for nurturing your relationships?

I’ve been told that a relationship is give and take. I’ve even been told that you must “give-to-get.” But, my experience has taught me, you must give a heck-of-a-lot more then you ever take. When you walk around wanting, or good grief worse, expecting, of everyone around you, others catch on and relationships can be damaged, even broken.

A relationship is not something to take lightly. Relationships are something to be cherished, and who knows, that relationship can turn into a friendship, a mentorship, or even a client. But, you must start with building and nurturing the relationship first.

I think over time we can tend to be more cautious and become less of a risk taker. As a child, I think my middle name was “risk.” I remember fondly when I was 8-years-old, we were living on the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs. We headed north for our first (of many) family ski trip. I spent the morning in “ski school” and after lunch we headed up on the slopes with a group of folks. I remember asking my parents to let me do a downhill race and I ended up winning a bronze medal for my time.  Needless to say, I was hooked on skiing after that. I spent my middle school and high school years pushing the limits by making my way down black diamonds. When I was in high school I sprained my knee and it was never quite the same after that. That injury (and my folks knee injuries) caused me to be a lot more cautious, especially on the slopes. It’s been nearly 12 years since I strapped on some skis, and some days I miss it. But what I miss the most is the “no-fear” mentality I had when I was 8-years-old.

Risk taking does not always come naturally. As a child we were more likely to take risks, but as adults we’ve been conditioned to be more cautious. Maybe we’ve been taken advantage of, ripped off, or even emotionally attacked. Last year I took a risk with a graphic designer. After our first meeting I paid him a deposit…then I never heard from him again. That trust was broken, and it took me months to get comfortable again enough to find a new designer.

In order to be successful in business we must take risks. I’m a huge fan of calculated risks. I think as a business owner I need to be aware of what types of risks I’m taking and how they might affect the business, but it’s important to push the envelope. As Seth Godin would say, “Be a Purple Cow!”

Pride aside folks, and start asking questions. You’ll realize very quickly that if the person you ask doesn’t know the answer, they will most likely connect you with someone who can help! (This ties in nicely with #5 on my list – Building Relationship)

What areas of your business are you most likely to ask for help?

Have you found your strengths?  Was it easy or was it hard?

I recently encountered a potential business relationship that just didn’t feel right. Turning away business is not something I want to do, but my gut told me that this was not going to be a good fit…for either of us. Looking back, I realize that although it’s challenging (and a little painful) to turn away a potential client, I had a feeling, and I trust that.

When have you listened/or not trusted your gut?

As I began to create a list of the things I knew I didn’t want to do, I started to find my passion – businesses! Through a great deal of battling against myself (niche market), months of business coaching, and falling down a few (or more) times, I realized that I love working with business folks. Helping businesses work smarter (not harder) is a passion of mine, and it’s something I’ve been doing in nearly every position I’ve held over the last 18 years.  Just over two years into the business I’m rebranding with a new name and all the marketing materials to go along with that.

If you are a business owner, you can probably relate. Wearing every hat can be overwhelming, tiresome, and even frustrating. With so many amazing challenges and changes over this last year, I knew I had to share what I’ve learned. Over the next 10 days I’m going to share with you the Top 10 Most Powerful Things I’ve Learned About Business in 2010. Here’s a sneak peak at the Top 10 list. Stay tuned over the next 10 days to hear more about each topic on the list.

1. Trust Your Gut
2. Find Your Strength
3. Ask For Help
4. Take Risks
5. Build Relationships
6. Nurture Relationships
7. Use Your Voice
8. Get Uncomfortable
9. Make a Plan (or Two or Ten)
10. 10. Don’t Wait for Perfection

I have worked hard to put aside some of my perfectionism ways. The ones that I could see were not all that important and were in fact holding me back. For example, rather then waiting until my blog posts are complete works of perfection (don’t worry I laughed too), I can loosen up a bit and submit many of my posts just the way they are. Or when it comes to meeting with a potential client to remember to do my best and not get caught up in being “perfect” in their eyes. The truth is, I’m not for everyone, and everyone is not for me.

Like many things we may be recovering from, it is all too easy to slip back into old habits. As a recovering perfectionist I have to fight off tendencies to not fall back into the trap of demanding my surroundings and the work I produce to be perfect…or else I won’t submit that blog post, or I won’t setup that potential client meeting…

As far as decorating the tree? Yes, I like it to be evenly decorated, ornaments to not be only placed on the lower 2/3’s of the tree, but I have found that there is far more joy in decorating the tree with my young boys, then being alone and trying to make it look “perfect.”

…And I confess, I do go back sometimes to make sure that fragile ornaments are secure and to share some of the decorations with other branches. Remember, I did say I’m a recovering perfectionist!

Work? Who really wants to work during the holidays? If you’re a small business owner though you might need to do a little work (or a lot) during the holidays. This can be tough for a number of reasons. Are you planning on traveling during the holidays? Are

your children off of school? Do you have family or friends coming to visit? I can relate to all three of those things. So how do we stay productive during the holidays? I know I can’t just close up shop for a few weeks, as much as it would be nice to only have to focus on getting ready for all the festivities. Here are my top 5 solutions that will help you stay productive and still enjoy the holiday season:

1. Update your calendar – If you haven’t updated your calendar for the holidays now is the time to do so! If it’s important and you don’t want to miss it, get it on the calendar now. Block out your travel time, change in kids schedules, holiday get-togethers and networking events.
2. Your time management – Now that you’ve updated your calendar, make sure that you’ve given yourself the right amount of time to complete client projects and make deadlines – especially during the holidays. Maybe now is a good time to go back and put in a little “cushion”  (extra time) between events.
3. Prepare in advance – This is also contingent up updating your calendar. Now you can prepare in advance for events, projects, and any other arrangements that need to be made. What can you do now so you don’t have to do it later?
4. Set reasonable goals – Once you have updated your calendar (see #1) you will have a clear idea of what your holiday calendar looks like. As you gain new business, or commit to additional projects, make sure you set reasonable goals. It is quite possible that your schedule is not going to allow for you to do as much work as you would in a normal (non-holiday) month.
5. Utilize your time wisely – Traveling during the holidays? You might have some time in the car, on a plane, or on a train to knock out some work. Knowing what your calendar looks like for the next month allows you to plan accordingly.  Maybe even getting up 15 minutes earlier each morning to crank out some additional emails or blog posts is the way to go.

I’m a firm believer in spending the holidays with my family and friends. I am also a firm believer that my business will not run itself. Follow these steps to be productive during and still enjoy the holiday season! Happy holidays!

I don’t think the initial intention is to be deceitful, but in all actuality that’s exactly what’s happening. If I tell a client that I know how to build a custom filing system with my bare hands, when in fact I wouldn’t even know the first place to start, I have just lied.

The same things goes when you tell your boss you understand how to create the elaborate data tracking system that they’ve always wanted, and you have no clue.

See, it’s okay to not know something. In fact, I think it’s in our benefit to keep ourselves in a position of always being the “student”. When we stop being the student, well, that’s when we become ineffective, and honestly, even annoying. Who likes a know-it-all? It’s just about as bad as being a tattle-tail in elementary school…just ask my first grader!

What you don’t know can hurt you. Here are a few key things to remember to help keep you, your clients and your business on solid ground:

1. Own it! Own up to the fact that you may not know everything. You can let folks in on the fact that you don’t know everything without making yourself look like an idiot…I promise. One of my favorite lines, “I don’t know, but I’ll definitely find out.” Use it! See what happens.
2. Listen up! It’s great that you’re might be able to compete in a championship title for the most words spoken per minute, but are you truly listening?  Be ready to listen. This takes practice for some of us, but the payoff can mean the difference between landing a new client…or not!
3. Do your homework! When you don’t know, find out! The greatest resource in your toolbox is the internet. Get comfortable with Google and make this tool your new best friend.

Being true to yourself means you can be true to your clients and your business. Follow these simple steps and you’ll quickly be on your way to solid ground.